Heather Lives

Being a Poor Student is Overrated

Though, honestly, once I graduate it’s not like I’ll be making the big bucks.

Lately, the universe has been trying to over-sell me the money does not buy happiness theory. And really, universe, it’s okay. I get you. All of my problems right now are really #firstworldproblems [hahaha, twitter] and I feel as if I agree on the whole.

And also, universe, let’s be real. I feel that this is one of those situations that I really need to experience before I can sate my belief in its truth.

It also doesn’t keep me from wanting to spend a week at L’Auberge in Del Mar. HELLO.

Drawing + Composition | Project 4

Wow. It’s been a really long time since I’ve looked at these. We moved on to a little something called the bamboo dip pen, which caused quite a polarization of opinion on the class. For one, it ate up ink faster than a cheetah on meth. For another, its broad tip made for a somewhat…primitive drawing style.

We were given a short time restriction, being told not to go over it for any one of the drawings. The goal was to create compositions stretching over three sheets of paper, using a hatching technique to show volume and depth, and to make them as visually interesting as possible. We had a use at least nine objects on each drawing. Themes were not required but often showed up when the works were pinned up for critique.

I actually enjoyed this one. Not at first, because I tend to draw things very carefully, but the lack of control forced me to just go at it full tilt and I like how most of them turned out. Especially when I was able to figure out how to work out an interesting composition.

This was one of my favorites - a bunch of kitchen utensils flying out of the container they sit in.

This is a bunch of tea paraphernalia, but I wasn’t terribly happy with it compositionally speaking.

This ended up coming out better than I thought it would. I think it’s vaguely neat-o.

But this ended up being the one I liked best. Pop quiz - only one of these items actually ends in a plug. Guess the right one and I’ll mail you a cookie.

And thus endeth project four. I enjoy working out compositions, which is probably why I’m drawn to photography, so I ended up liking this assignment by the time I was in the middle of it all. It was nice to see that shading - something that had seemed so daunting earlier - was becoming noticeably easier. Our teacher kept emphasizing that she didn’t expect these to be perfect, that the imperfections were what give the drawings character, and that really helped a lot.

And now, I am tired, and I have some Honest Tea [I have become addicted to Pearfect White Tea - thanks Amanda] and old Veronica Mars episodes waiting for me while I prepare to drift off into slumber.

Ah, slumber. Good night, friends.

Thought Vomit Go

[Forewarning: this post has been brought to you by run-on thoughts and the letter K.]

I know it’s been a while. I’m sure that you aren’t shocked at this development. [Or lack thereof.]

Hmm. What to say, what to say?

Do you ever get that feeling…when you start thinking about what you need to do, but in order to start that you really feel that you need to do something else first, and then everything snowballs into this unnecessarily large mental manifesto of a to do list and you end up doing NONE OF IT because you are now completely and utterly overwhelmed?

Welcome to my current state of being.

And, as it probably doesn’t need to be stated, it’s a problem.

I need to simplify. I need to decompress. I need to list. I need to scale down the giant leaps into baby steps. I know these things. And yet so often in situations where I need to get a lot of stuff done I don’t take my own advice.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a lot better than I used to be. But case in point, let’s peek inside my brain, shall we?

I should really write in the blog. Which will probably involve posting photos, which I really require some organizing. Speaking of which, I have over 500 that I have yet to cull and edit. Including ones from the Great Road Trip of two thousand ten-eleven. That was over four months ago. And some projects that I haven’t photographed yet. And I would love to find a really huge flatbed scanner. Or maybe a really wide version of those newfangled things that you just send the paper through and it reads it. Where does one get such a thing? How much do they cost?

[This thought could be followed by internet research, in which case all bets are off and there is no way the thing I originally intended to do is getting done. Not that there is much of a chance at this point anyhow, let’s be real.]

And I need to decide if I want to stay on flickr.

[I think that this is going to happen, as enticing as other services are looking.]

I did say that I’d slap up some pictures of the apartment, which I really should photograph. Except that my room looks like it’s hungover and I really need to clean it. Speaking of which, where the hell is my Logan cutter? I REALLY NEED TO FIND IT BECAUSE I NEED IT FOR THIS ASSIGNMENT I HAVE TO DO. And I have reading I didn’t finish from last week. But where is my Logan cutter? I can’t find it in this mess. I should go to Blick’s before they close but I should look for it first which means I need to clean my room.

And then I end up watching the LA auditions from SYTYCD instead.

Twice.

I wish I were kidding, but they were that good and if you have not seen or DVR’d them you should watch them if and when Hulu decides to be benevolent.

Can you see how it happens? This is precisely why I haven’t been able to bring myself to post on here recently, and believe me, I’ve tried.

Side note: have you seen that Farmers Insurance commercial with the X-Men in it? [There is a question I NEVER thought I would ask.] Does it say something about me that the little bum-ba-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum at the end of their jingle makes me think of the South Park episode about Mormons? [Again with the strange questions.]

Anyhow, I decided that I was going to ignore my headchatter and post anyway, which brings us to where we are. I suppose I should update you on how things are going, since presumably that’s why you’re reading this here thing.

THINGS ARE GOING REALLY WELL.

To sum it up in a sentence. To give you another: I love school. Like, and excuse me while I nerd out here for a bit, I REALLY love school. I mean, I get SO excited to see my classmates and go to my classes that it almost scares me. I look forward to it, and I get really jazzed about the whole thing, and I feel sad when I don’t see them for a while [which is to say every time we break for the week - four whole days].

I have never found myself immersed in such an inspiring bunch of people. So many different life stories, but everyone I have befriended feels so very strongly that this is where they are meant to be, and that’s a completely new experience for me - not only to be amongst such a crowd, but to feel that way myself. Everyone is so excited about what we are doing and…I don’t know how to explain it using words. It’s like…

You know that feeling when you’re hanging out at a party? Maybe it’s a friend’s party. Or a friend of a friend’s. You know how it is. And you’re there, and you’re sipping your beer/wine/soda, and you’re talking to people, and it’s all right, but nothing special and then you start thinking about how much laundry you have to do tomorrow? But then. THEN. Someone in the group mentions a band you really, really love. Not a lot of people know about them but you’ve been to three of their concerts and you both start talking about them and then you crack a joke and he thinks you’re funny and you think he’s pretty cute and you sort of remove yourselves from the big conversation and half an hour later you’re making out on the deck?

IT’S KIND OF LIKE THAT.

I’m not just talking about the sense of exhilaration that comes from delving into something [or someone] you find attractive for the first time, but also that sense of connection that comes when someone understands you. Even a little slice of you. When that sort of link surfaces amongst a group of people and it’s related to something as big and passion-driven as what you want your life to be, and those people are also incredibly constructive, productive, and supportive, I swear that magic happens.

I have found myself in the midst of the most fun, potentially strangest, most upbeat, wide-eyed, creative, enthralling, and life-loving makeshift family. Because yes, even after one semester, we have unwittingly become a family. This must be what people who go on about how much they loved college must have felt. For someone who found themselves a sudden stranger five months ago in more ways that one, I cannot begin to express my gratefulness for the privilege of being amongst them.

So that’s what’s going on. That, and work. I am in the midst of a torrid love affair with my classmates, and we’re already about to start week four [week four?!] of semester numéro deux. Life is busy, crazy, messy, and so much fun right now, and I wish that you could come over here and join us.

All right. I think that’s enough. I apologize for the verbosity, but y’all must be accustomed at this point, no? I have been working so diligently that I haven’t been making enough time for decent mental breaks, and the effects are starting to show. So, in an effort to get myself to more places in San Diego aside from work and school and the apartment [because I’m getting sick of the rut] I am going to propose a personal challenge and I intend for you to hold me accountable. That proposal is as such: I am going to blog from a new place I have not yet been once a week. Said post may not be posted right away if said new place does not have wifi, but I’m going to make it happen. Can I make it happen?

YES.

Drawing + Composition | Project 3

By the time that I finished this project, I would have been happy if I never had to squiggle again. I think that a lot of art classes teach via the crosshatch method when learning value and shading, which is supposedly a bit easier. I don’t know why our teacher chose squiggles. Maybe to make us think harder about what we were doing?

For whatever reason, it worked. I have had the “rules” of shading drilled into me at this point. Part of me wonders how long it will stick, but I do imagine I’ll be keeping up with it.

This first drawing we had to do in class. Our teacher had a bunch of objects that had been painted matte white and we each chose one to draw. I “got” nearly everything except for the base, which ended up looking convex because of how I squiggled it. There should have been a flatter band [in essence, I should have treated it as a cylinder] but regardless it came out all right. It’s funny, because as we have progressed I can see all kinds of things that are “wrong” with it now. But honestly, I don’t think it’s terrible or anything.

Next, we had to choose three objects at home, each with different properties for shading purposes. Here are mine:

The plug is a bit wonky because I couldn’t get it to lie straight when I was taking the picture. I think I’m going to need a bigger scanner. I can also see where things got stripey and whatnot [the gradations should be a bit smoother, especially on the light bulb]. But I spent a fair amount of time on them and I am, for the most part, happy with how they turned out. I like the twisty part of the bulb.

Anyhow, I’d talk more about this but I’m really tired, y’all. Had a big day today and have two classes to start tomorrow. I think I’m going to put on some Parks and Recreation and fall asleep. [CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW AMAZING THIS SEASON OF THAT SHOW HAS BEEN?!? SO MUCH LOVE.]

Ugh, tired. Ugh, sleepy. Ugh, can’t string two thoughts together. Ugh, can’t make this interesting. Need sleep. More later. Bed now. Thanks for looking at my draw-rings. Night!

Ahhhhhhhh…HHHHHHHHH!

We finished the semester last Thursday. The new one begins tomorrow.

Yes, our break amounts to something lasting roughly four days. So I am making the most of it by catching up on all the sleep I missed - apparently for the entire semester.

Today, however, I have found the gumption to clean. I have also completely rearranged my room, something about which I am disproportionately pleased. I’ll try and get pictures up, but seeing as how good I am about that and also that school starts up again tomorrow I REFUSE TO PROMISE ANYTHING.

Anyhow, this evening is going to be dedicated to blog updating unless something comes up, as it is bound to. Such as, just as an example, my roommate just texted me with something involving a trip to Pinkberry. I mean, I love y’all, but PINKBERRY.

As a slight teaser, as I am hoping this semester will be slightly less hectic and more on the end of having time to blog about life, I want to let all of you know that this semester went exceedingly well and I am incredibly excited to share the fruits of my laboring with you.

Get excited.

Elements I | Project 1

I’m not sure how to describe our elements class. It’s about the elements of design.

Well, there. I did it. That’s what it is.

It teaches us about the elements and the principles of design and also how to do important things like cut mat board in a straight line and how to “properly” draw a line with a Sharpie.

Don’t laugh!

I know it sounds like AP Kindergarten, but there were quite a few people that had never wielded an X-acto knife before and that can be terrifying. Having scrapbooked on and off for years, that was one area I had a fair amount of experience in, but knowing how to mount work on mat board is going to be something we use over. And over. And over. And is also mega-helpful to me as an amateur photographer.

This was the first assignment we were given. We were learning about lines, and had to use thickness of line to portray depth and dimension using 2D shapes.

She had to yell at us before we started. I think that it went a little something like:

WAIT. STOP. DO NOT MOVE. I know this school works and that some of you are going to freak out about getting this just right because of what we just went over.

This assignment is only worth five points.

Let me repeat.

This assignment. Is worth. Five. Points.

That is nothing. You will have assignments that are worth many more points. This is practice. Do not develop an ulcer because of this assignment. Do not start crying because of this assignment. Okay? Everyone clear?

All right. You may go.

And true to her word, some of us freaked out anyway until someone repeated the mantra: This is only worth five points. Whatever.

Anyhow, here’s how mine turned out.

I kind of like it, being honest. I thought it was mildly clever and thus was satisfied.

[In case you were wondering, they are all bulbs.]

Drawing + Composition | Project 2

How to shade, how not to shade.

That was the subject of this project’s lesson. And a frustrating one it was.

I had seen shading drawings from art classes lining the hallways at school before when they used this kind of cross-hatching method, but in this class we were using…squiggles? I didn’t get it. It seemed foreign, and technical, and strange and just…strange. Plus, we were still using the dip pen we had been using from the first assignment and using that, even as someone who dabbled in calligraphy a bit, was awkward.

She had to explain it to us. And explain it again. And then explain it a different way. And then explain it again. And even then, people, myself included, were having difficulties getting it to connect. I mean, we got it. We understood what the idea was. What we were trying to accomplish.

What we weren’t understanding was what exactly to do once we actually started drawing.

A couple of people got it right away, but I spent the entire class working on that damn sphere and then I had to start over again once I got home. Even then, it didn’t come out perfect. The gradations are slightly stripy.

I should have carried the squiggles more across the front of the cylinder to avoid the skunk stripe and the top of the cylinder is flat out wrong.

The gradation strip values are a little bit too close.

The cube looks pretty good, though.

Aw yeah. Check that out. BAM.

Did I get marked down for all of the aforementioned offenses?

You bet.

Our professor is critical, and she is nitpicky, and rightly so. They are things to which we should be paying attention. And you know what? We are learning.

We are learning how to pay attention and the importance of stepping back to look at our work. [Literally and figuratively.] We are learning not to overlook the details, and that building things up takes time. We are learning that it is necessary to stop and take a break from time to time. We are learning how to think ahead when we are drawing. And we are learning that sometimes breaking your back to get that A isn’t worth it. Occasionally it will be wiser to get things to a point that you are fine with them and take the B+ or whatever and move on. This is something that I have been learning over a long period of time, and having it reinforced here is only making it easier.

We are also learning how to draw the tops of cylinders, because seriously y’all - that crap’s not easy.

So, if you feel like attempting your own squiggly drawing [and honestly, it’s strangely relaxing in a trance-y way - I’m not joking] I will tell you some of what we were told.

You want to start with a layer of squiggles and put them line by line going in the same direction. They should overlap a bit. Then turn the paper and do it perpendicular to the original direction. The next layer should be diagonal, and then the next should be the opposing diagonal direction.

Plain white is bad. You can see how it affects the drawing both on my sphere and on the cylinder. It looks stark, naked, bare, what have you, and is a bit too polarizing here. As an example, on the gradation strip, we were told to start with at least two layers of squiggles.

Let’s see…what else?

When you are trying to see if gradations are too close, squint at it. You can go pretty dark on it. Don’t be afraid of the dark. The only thing considered too far is solid black.

Also, step back a good ten feet plus and look at it to see if things are getting stripey. If they are, layer some squiggles in the opposite direction of the “line.”

Flat surfaces should have no gradation, but should have different values if they are not parallel.

And that’s about it. I mean, that’s not even close to being it, but that’s a start. I can’t even begin to explain how to go about starting the sphere without physically SHOWING it. But let me tell you, our professor? Freaking rocks. Seriously. Even looking at it now I can’t believe that I did those.

Flaws and all.

Insomnia + Feathering the Nest

Well, CLEARLY I should not have finished off that coffee before chucking the cup. But it’s presented me with the opportunity to blog, so I shall seize it. Carpe insomnium. Or whatever.

It’s been months, but the apartment is finally starting to feel like a home. Could be the lack of sleeping-on-the-floor chic, but I’m not saying.

What I will say is that I thought that sleeping on the floor would be fine for a week or two. And it was fine. For the first couple of days.

Sleeping on the floor SUCKS. I was sore when I woke up and even if I slept for hours I felt like I’d only been asleep for minutes. It was terrible. I totally have a newfound empathy for those who find themselves having to do it. Needless to say, when a co-worker offered me an inflatable mattress [I was having difficulty finding one] I absolutely jumped on the opportunity.

IT WAS LIKE HEAVEN. LIKE SLEEPING ON CLOUDS WHILE DELIBES’ FLOWER DUET PLAYS SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND.

I also tackled the bathroom. Hotel vinyl curtain wasn’t cutting it, so I swanked it out as best I could. It’s actually one of my favorite rooms now because it gets a ridiculous amount of natural light during the day. It’s incredibly bright and clean and happy feeling.

Eventually I managed to work out getting a mattress and a bed frame. Thank the FSM for work allowing employee discounts.

Other than buying things [utensils and suchwhat] for the kitchen, apartment shopping came to a standstill for a bit. Until, after not shopping for weeks, I found myself with a HUNGER for it during Spring Break and…

Yes, ruh roh.

I got some pillows for my room and other little here and there things including an awesome vase for my landing. I’ll try and get a shot of my room once it’s presentable. Which may be never at this rate.

I also decided to dress up the dining room table Mireya brought from home. Following are the results of the fruits of my labors:

I rather like it. What say you? And flowers never hurt when it comes to spreading a little happy.

All right, my eyes are finally starting to close involuntarily. Must be time to hop on the ZzzZZZzzZZzZzs.

Hopefully I’ll get more pictures of the apartment up soon, but I’ll warn you that we literally have a cardboard box acting as our sofa at the moment. Been there for at least a month. Whatever!

Okay, I just fell asleep for two minutes. Good night!

Drawing + Composition | Project 1

This was the class that I was absolutely terrified to take. My drawing experience has been extremely limited and really only successful [in my eyes] when I sit down and copy something directly - a photograph, another drawing [like this one I shamelessly copied from Candice Olson’s book].

I never took an art class because I always had a feeling that I would suck at it, so when we had to take art electives I always did something with photography.

Walking into Art and Composition, I was immediately intimidated. It quickly became clear, however, that there were more than a few classmates who were sharing my sentiment of sheer terror. I also discovered, and rather quickly, that I quite like the way that our professor teaches the class. So I have found myself enjoying this class in a rather surprising way. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still get anxious when I have to work while being observed - I feel self-conscious, somehow - but this class has taken a fair amount of the scariness out of the process for me. I think that the “performance anxiety” will subside with time and I feel really good about it all [even though I am not having fun with pastels - more on that much later].

These images are from the very first project we were assigned - contour line drawing. I know that a fair amount of you probably already know what a contour line drawing is, but for the other n00bs, like yours truly, I’ll take a stab at explaining it. The process involves essentially making a very slow, very deliberate, extremely detailed drawing in which you simply allow the pen to follow all the lines shown on on object. This means the outlines of shapes, but also shadows, reflections, and whatnot. You don’t need to worry about spacing, proportion, or “correctness” and because you are moving so slowly and only concentrating on such a small area of the object at a time, the lines often end up being shaky or splotchy or “imperfect.” Some people say that contour line drawings should be done without looking at the paper and only at the object you are drawing, but we were allowed to look at both [thankfully].

It was a great way to introduce drawing for me, especially because I am such a perfectionist. The constant assurance from our professor that “mistakes” were okay, and in fact, perhaps even preferred, really quelled a lot of my nerves as I put the pen to the paper. “But what if…?” questions kept on arising from all of us to which she would respond, “Don’t tell me! Just fake it!” The permission to stop worrying about making things look “right” and instead concentrate on completing the assignment and learning from it was a gift that I have not taken for granted.

We also have been simultaneously learning about composition throughout most of our assignments including this one. It is an aspect of art I do have some experience with, thanks to dabbling in photography and also web/graphic design. It’s also a way of thinking that I think has followed me during the majority of my life, and it was simultaneously comforting and perspective-setting to realize that something that comes relatively intuitively to me was challenging some of my classmates. In this project, we were to place objects at varying “distances” on the picture plane, to begin showing depth via placement and size. We had specific parameters by which they were to be set, but I won’t bore you with the details.

What resulted was a series of what I am considering my first “real” drawings and even though they might be a bit strange looking I am rather proud of them. We were instructed to do a series of seven, in addition to the flower which we drew during class, and after we got them back I learned that the school can “keep” any of our work without forewarning. Therefore I am missing two [naturally, the ones I liked best]. I feel not un-happy that the instructor decided my work was worth keeping around for whatever reason, though, and it was a good thing to realize early on because now I take pictures of projects before I turn them in. For the most part. I am human.

So that was the big project from week one of school. We didn’t really get anything else assigned that first week, which was a really nice. And it also didn’t last very long. Funny thing is, that even though we are currently buried in project somehow a lot of it doesn’t feel like…work. Going to this school, I have decided, is going to go down in history as one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. It feels…indescribable. Satisfying, gratifying, cathartic, and rewarding might begin to describe it, but they don’t even come close to encompassing it. I have never felt right about something with this degree of certainty before. This must be what living your passion feels like, and I almost have to pinch myself when I realize how lucky I am to have discovered it this young [and really, to have discovered it at all].

I hope that you all have something in your life that makes you feel that way. I know it’s still early days on this path I set out on, but I can only tell you that thus far it has been absolutely worth the trepidation and anxiety surrounding how I was going to “make it work.” It occasionally becomes clear to me that change and existing in this world aren’t nearly as complicated as I make them out to be. Sometimes you need to just pack up your car and start driving.

On that note, I am disconnecting so that I can go do some work. I have about an hour and a half of battery life left on this laptop and I intend to use it wisely. I hope that all of you have been having a fantastic weekend. And if you have a minute or two to spare, give me a call! I miss you! [Yes, even you.]

Truly Shutting Down

Sometimes I need to take a real break from life. I fail to realize the true importance of doing this more often than not and it results in half-hearted efforts or convincing myself that I am wasting my time.

It is essential that I remember that taking the occasional hour or three break and really allowing myself to not do ANYTHING that I feel like I “have to” or “should be” doing can result in more productivity than squilching the urge to do so. Today is a good case in point.

I just wrote an entry about how I feel like this entire Spring Break has been squandered away with trivial activity and general stupidity. And that is still true. But these are also true:

1. Nothing I can do about it at this point.

2. No point in wallowing in it.

I woke up late this morning, and I had an actual moment as I was sitting in bed where I thought, “Well. You can either hold on to this feeling of craptasticness and let it dictate how the rest of the day goes, or you can get up and go do something that is going to make you feel better.”

I decided to get out of the apartment and go poke around Solana Beach, like I had planned to the other day. Sure, it would have been nice to have gotten up early and been out here all day, but there were, and are, still plenty of good hours left in the day.

It can be difficult for me to convince myself to get my crap together and get out there and do things. Getting dressed, getting everything together, figuring out where the hell I’m going, and the anxiety of going to an unfamiliar place around people I don’t know [especially on my own] is more daunting than I would like to admit sometimes. I am not a brave person, but I am trying.

Inevitably, however, going out almost always ends up being a better decision than staying in would have been. Never underestimate the power of Vitamin D, for one. But also, I come away from it feeling refreshed in a way that staying around the house never seems to manifest.

So, today, I dropped into Bixby & Ball [their site is not up yet, it seems, but their blog is always an inspiring read], which has very quickly jumped onto my list of favorite places to shop even though I haven’t really been here that long. Here are a couple of old-ish images from the last time I was here with Roommate.

They have a myriad of cool things to peruse and purchase. The epitome of beach chic, really. Next time I’m there I’ll try and snap a shot or two of the kitchen they’ve got in the back, because truly, it is perfect - the kind of well-designed space that radiates a specifically vague atmosphere that conjures up frillions of thoughts and memories in your headbox. Going in there makes me happy, and I hope that the little things I picked up for my co-workers brighten up their week. We’ve all been a bit stressed lately.

Now I am sitting out on a bench in the sun drinking a latte and eating an orange blossom crepe at the Orange Blossom Cafe listening to some Alexi Murdoch before I get ready to wrap up this essay I need to write.

Some dude just rolled up here on his bike and picked up a drink from inside, flopped down in a teal adirondack chair, plugged in his headphones, and fell asleep in the sun for 20 minutes. I decided to take his lead and let me tell you, taking naps in the sun is far superior to when they are not. I need to spend more time outside. I might as well take advantage of the nice weather while I’ve got regular access to it, right?

So, yes. Today has been the first really good recharge day I’ve had in a while. I am totally ready to kick this essay into top gear and maybe get some of my history notebook knocked out as well. Perhaps, first, I’ll post a little smidge about what has been going on in school. Yes, I think I shall.

I hope that you have a few places to go or things to do that make you truly happy. I am starting a list, because one, I am that much of a list dork, and two, because it is regrettably easy for me to forget to visit them. And hey, if you’re in need of some extra ones you’re more than welcome to come visit me.